● Children naturally awful CHILDREN are dreadful regardless of whether they have had sugar, it has emerged.
● Travel rule exemption announced for middle-class families driving to National Trusts MIDDLE class families visiting National Trust parks and woodland for their daily exercise are to be exempt from lockdown rules because it is...
● Woman with pink hair disappointed to see other woman with pink hair A FREE-THINKING woman making a bold statement with hair dye was gutted to see another woman with the same pink tint.
● PTA mum starts bossing herself around WITH no one else to organise or pressure into taking part in tedious fundraising events, a PTA mum has started bossing herself around.
● Shelf of Lonely Planet books laughing at you A MAN is wondering whether to throw his Lonely Planet guides away rather than allow them to mock him from the bookshelf.
● The house is shrinking, Britons report BRITONS under lockdown have confirmed that their homes appear to be getting a tiny bit smaller every day.
● Who are you trolling online? DELIBERATELY angering strangers on the internet is the UK’s top new lockdown hobby. So who are you trolling this weekend?
● Kid who tips crisp crumbs into his mouth clearly going to go far in life THE future is looking bright for a child who has the skill and confidence to tip crisp crumbs into his mouth, it has been confirmed.
● Estate agents: The unsung frontline heroes of the pandemic THERE’S been much talk about the heroism of NHS workers during the pandemic. But why is there no clapping for those other brave frontline workers, estate agents?
● How to be an effective leader of the opposition, by Marcus Rashford HI Keir. You’re an experienced politician and I’m a 23-year-old footballer, yet I’m much better than you at holding the government to account. Here are my...
● How to pretend to be over 75 and get vaccinated ONLY a morally bankrupt, heartless swine would try to jump the queue and get vaccinated early. Here’s how to do it.